Book Review: Fool Me THRICE by Carley Esprit-Phillip

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I have just finished reading the debut book Fool Me THRICE by WordPress’s Carley Esprit-Phillip from Journey With Carley, http://journeywithcarley.com ,and this is my book review:

This book is real. It’s the most intimate and detailed biography that I have ever read and I loved it.

It is a very easy read and I really enjoyed the fact that it was like sneakily reading the author’s diary with all her secrets, feelings and thoughts.

I think the author really drew you into her life, no holds barred, and makes you feel her highs and lows with her. This book is a raw insight to female sexuality, empowerment and relationships as well as openly talking about the author’s and featured ‘charachters’ mental health issues.

Unfortunately for me I started reading this book just before I was going to sleep which as it turned out was a very bad idea as the book was so engaging I couldn’t put it down, I just had to find out what happened next and I ended up reading the whole book in one go.

I definitely loved this book and would certainly recommend it. I hope there’s a sequel out there somewhere on the horizon.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Available on Amazon

Modern Family – A Fan Review

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I absolutely love Modern Family.

Modern Family is Told from the perspective of an unseen documentary filmmaker, the series offers an honest and often hilarious perspective of family life.

Parents Phil and Claire yearn for an honest, open relationship with their three kids. But a teen who is trying to grow up too fast, another who is too smart for her own good, and a rambunctious young son make it challenging.

Jay and his much-younger wife are raising her son together, but people sometimes mistake Jay for his wife’s father.

Meanwhile, partners Mitchell and Cameron have just adopted a child from Vietnam, which poses a different set of challenges.

When I first started watching it I thought if was crap and didn’t get past episode 2.

It wasn’t until I was on holiday in Cyprus where they only have 2 English channels that I really got into it.

Who would have thought that the everyday hum drum of people’s lives would be so funny!

I’m currently watching the box set and it is cracking me up.

I absolutely love Cam, he is definitely my favourite – he truly is the gayest gay who ever did live but who is also a caveman who will kick the living shit out of  you even looking ridiculous dressed as Fizbo the clown.

Gnome Town

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My brother works abroad and has just bought his first house – it’s safe for me to say as the house is never empty as he moved his mate in with him!

He works 8 weeks away and 2 weeks home so this time home, he got back yesterday, is the first time that he has seen his house all finished, new and sparkly.

He is very excited about his house and as I’m evil (if you don’t know already I’m sure you’ll find out soon) I have been sitting there plotting what I could do to him.

Then I had the idea that I could do something that he would go nuts and blame his mates for!

He doesn’t really have a large garden so I went out and bought 20 gnomes and a Meerkat looking through lighted up binoculars.

Best thing is my brother hates gnomes!

After his house mate had left for work I snuck into his house and I turned his garden into “Gnome Town” with the Meerkat on the outside window sill watching whatever he is doing over his sink.

Now you may think this is a colossal waste of money and you are right. It’s just the back and forth relationship I have with my brother and the fact he’s blaming his friends makes it worth every penny, I even asked his house mate if he did it to throw them off my trail.

My brother is not a happy bunny and is grilling all his friends to find out who “Gnomified” his garden and getting shitty because he doesn’t believe them!

I’m not going to let him suffer too long though.

His birthday is 1st January and one of his gifts from me will be a photo of me holding and surrounded by Gnomes.

Unfortunately this has backfired on me a bit as after being initially being pissed off with “Gnome Town” he’s decided he likes them and is going to keep them and I’m left plotting what I can do to him next …

My Top 10 Worst Z-List Horror Films

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10. Ghost Shark

When rednecks on a fishing trip kill a great white shark, its spirit comes back for revenge, and soon turns its sights on the town of Smallport. Teenage Ava, her younger sister Cicely and friend Blaise witness the start of the ghost shark’s rampage but the authorities don’t believe their story. With the help of a crotchety lighthouse keeper named Finch the teens discover that the spectral shark can hunt wherever there’s water, and that the town’s dark past provide the clues they need to defeat it

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9. Attack Of The SabreTooth

In the Fiji islands, the greedy and unscrupulous owner of the Valalola Resort Primal Park invites investors and guests for an opening party of his compound composed of hotel and zoo aiming to find partners for his discoveries. When a bunch of college smalltime thieves puts a virus in the security system to participate in a scavenger hunt, the greatest attractions of the zoo – sabretoothes from the prehistoric age developed from DNA found in fossils – escape, killing the hosts and guards for fun.

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8. Sharktopus

The U.S. Navy commissions a group known as “Blue Water” to genetically engineer a half-shark, half-octopus for combat. During a demonstration attacking drug traffickers off of Santa Monica, the beast called the Sharktopus escapes the control of its creators and makes its way to Puerto Vallarta. Hunted by Blue Water and a television crew, the monster attacks numerous beach-goers. Sharktopus is eventually defeated by detonating explosives embedded in its brain.

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7. Amphibious

Marine biologist Skylar Shane hires an expat charter boat captain, Jack Bowman, to help her find prehistoric life form samples in the north Sumatran Sea. During the expedition, they run into some of Jack’s ‘friends’, a gang of smugglers headquartered on a fishing platform in the middle of the sea. Tamal, an orphan sold into servitude on the fishing platform by his uncle, a ‘Dukun’ (sorcerer and master of black magic) shaman, begs Skylar to take him away. She empathizes with the boy, who reminds her of her lost daughter, Rebecca, and is determined to help him, not knowing what lurks beneath the dark inky water, waiting to surface. Ever since Tamal arrived, mysterious things begin to happen, until one by one the smugglers will be killed by the terrifying creature from the deep. In the middle of an eerie, violent storm, the animus inside Tamal grows stronger, calling for the ancient creature of his nightmares. Now Skylar and Jack must battle the terror – once locked deep in the abyss by an old civilization, as it is now about to resurface.

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6. Mega Snake

In 1986, in Tennessee, the father of the boys Lester and Duff Daniels is murdered by a snake in a weird ceremony. Twenty years later, Duff collects snakes while Les fears them. One day, Duff visits the Kitawa Indian Screaming Hawk to buy snakes and sees a small snake in a jar. He decides to buy the snake, but Screaming Hawk tells that the species is not for sale. He explains that it is the dangerous Unteka that has three rules to raise it: (1) never let the snake out of the jar; (2) never let it eat living animals; and (3) never fear the heart of the snake. Duff steals the Unteka and brings the snake home. However, he accidentally drops the jar and the snake eats his cat. The snake gets bigger and bigger eating animals and the locals. Now Les, his former girlfriend Erin and Screaming Hawk have to stop the Unteka to save the local population.

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5. Piranhaconda

Two Piranhacondas hunt down their stolen egg. The scientist who stole the egg hitchikes the island and meets up with a movie crew on-set of filming. The star, the scientist, and some crew-members get kidnapped by some money-craving people who put them on ransom for some dough. Meanwhile, a Piranhaconda roams the island, along the way eating an island-goer, and some scientists searching for a rare flower. The snake comes to the kidnappers’ hideout and attacks. The crew and the scientist escape. The lead kidnapper finds a camera and realizes that the scientist stole the egg, which caused the snake to attack, and he decides to kill the snake, and the crew. The snake follows the crew, who are in a truck, but is wounded by a grenade. The second Piranhaconda arrives and, sensing blood, attacks its wounded mate. It then decides to track down the crew. The scientist reveals that he had the egg, so they try to escape via boat. But the Piranhaconda stalls their plans. The scientist pretends to get rid of the egg, but doesn’t, causing the creature to follow them. The crew become trapped by the kidnappers, but the Piranhaconda crashes the party and eats the ransomers. The scientist and two crew members get back to the boat, but the man stays on shore to destroy the snake. In the water, the girl realizes that the scientist had the egg all along. She throws it in the river and shoves him overboard. He is then killed by the Piranhaconda. The girl goes back to shore and finds the boy. They lure the Piranhaconda to a waterfall using the egg. Jack slips a bomb into the case and threw it at the beast, then he and the girl jumped into the river below. The bomb went off and decapitated the snake. The two then decide to go on a date. They kiss as a third Piranhaconda devours them both. The camera switches to a shot of the waterfall, and the growl of the Piranhaconda is heard.

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4. Beast Of The Bering Sea

While dredging for gold beneath the Bering Sea, siblings Donna and Joe are confronted by a horde of horrific sea vampires. When their father falls victim to the insatiable creatures, Donna and Joe join forces with a dedicated marine biologist and a loyal deckhand to kill or be killed by the beasts.

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3. Sand Sharks

Jimmy Green, a prodigal party boy, is throwing the spring break festival of a lifetime on the island of White Sands. Little do the hundreds of teenage party-goers know, an underwater earthquake has cracked open a crater beneath the ocean’s surface, unleashing menacing predator sharks that have the ability to swim through sand. The beasts mercilessly feed on anything that crosses their path. Sheriff John Stone, his sister Brenda and scientist Dr. Sandy Powers team up to investigate and stop the monsters.

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2. Sharknado

A freak hurricane hits Los Angeles causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in water spouts and flooding the city with shark-infested seawater. Surfer and bar-owner Fin sets out with his friends, Baz, Nova and George, to rescue his estranged wife, April,mand teenage daughter Claudia. While heading to April’s home, George is killed and the group learns of a tornado warning. They arrive at April’s house just before the first floor is flooded and shark-infested. Collin April’s boyfriend is eaten by sharks, but the rest of the group escape unharmed. They meet up with Fin and April’s son Matt, who’s taking shelter at his flight school; he and Nova become attracted to each other. Matt and Nova decide to stop the threat of the incoming “sharknadoes” by tossing bombs into them from a helicopter.As Nova fights off a shark that had latched onto the helicopter, she falls out of the helicopter and directly into another shark’s mouth. Matt is heartbroken. Baz is also lost in the storm. Matt’s bombing mission is ultimately successful — the sharknadoes dissipate, and the sharks begin to plummet towards the ground. After Matt lands his helicopter, a falling shark flies directly toward the remaining members of the group. Fin jumps into its mouth with a chainsaw and cuts his way out. He emerges carrying an unconscious but otherwise unharmed Nova. Matt is reunited with Nova and Fin gets back together with April.

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1. Cabin Fever

The story follows a group of college graduates on holiday who rent a remote cabin in the woods, up in Hillbilly Redneck country and begin to fall victim to a flesh-eating virus.

The film begins with a hermit walking in the woods and comes across his dog. He tries to get the dog’s attention, but the dog is dead due to a bloody infection, and the hermit comes into contact with the infected blood.

Upon their arrival to the area the group of three men and two women visit to a local convenience store, where they meet an unusual boy named Dennis, who has a tendency to bite people, and a store owner, an old man, who has a rifle for the “niggers”, which the group assumes, as he’s an old redneck he is racist and uses to shoot “niggers” or scare them off.

When they have arrived and have settled in one couple has sex, the other goes swimming and the fifth man goes out to shoot squirrels with his rifle, but ends up shooting the hermit, now disfigured and bloody. The hermit flees, but Burt does not tell anyone about the incident.

That night the hermit returns, in a much worse state than before and begging for help. The group shuts the door on the sick hermit, who then tries to steal the group’s car, while vomiting blood all over it. When the hermit threatens threatens them, one of the men accidentally sets the hermit on fire while trying to ward him off. The group looks for help the next day. Two of the men find a helpful neighbor, but leave when they find out she’s the dead hermit’s cousin.

One of the women is struck down by the flesh eating virus and the group locks her in a shed to isolate her in an attempt to stop the virus spreading. At this point one of the men leaves the group and goes off into the woods on his own as he wants no contact with any of others so he will not catch the virus.

Slowly one by one the rest of the group begin to show symptoms and are all struck down with the flesh eating virus.

One of the men, even though he has the virus goes again in search of help and discovers the dead body of the hermit floating in a reservoir, revealing the infection has been spreading through the drinking and shower water.

He is later picked up by a passing truck and dropped off at a hospital. There, he is interrogated about the virus, but he cannot provide any response. The sheriff tells a deputy to “take care” of the man.

He tries to warn the deputy about the drinking water by saying “water…” but the deputy only responds by dumping him at the edge of a creek.

The next day, pt he member of the group who has been hiding out and drinking in the woods, returns to the cabin. Initially crying after seeing the remains of his friends, he later becomes ecstatic upon realizing he is the only one who made it. As he raises his arms in victory, he is gunned down by several police officers, who burn his body along with the others.

The only saving grace of this film is the ending.

Three African-American men walk up to the store and the owner jumps up and goes inside the store to grab the “nigger” rifle. The three men enter the store and greet the owner by saying “hey, what’s up my nigger” and doing a funny hand shake with him. The store owner then takes the rifle and then hands it to them, revealing he was only polishing it up for them.

This left me in fits of laughter as I assumed with the group he was a racist redneck and goes to show that stereotypes are not always true!

Series Cancelled!

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I think I must be Amazon’s best customer due to my shamefully large DVD collection.

I don’t like to watch my favourite shows on TV due to the adverts and having to wait a whole week for the next episode, so with major self restraint I will wait until the current series is over and buy it on DVD.

I spend the average of 12 – 24 weeks that the series runs trying my damnedest to avoid any spoilers by people or media.

I endure the weeks like a child waiting for Christmas morning. Every series ends on a cliff hanger leaving me salivating for more.

Then the news that both crushes me and pisses me off beyond belief – the series has been cancelled!

I mean seriously are you having a laugh? I have spent between £15 – £25 per DVD box set for the first 2 or 3 series then you do not renew it? What a colossal waste of my money!

If the series is based on a book I can find a little bit of comfort from buying the book to find out what would happen in the next series had it been renewed, but I say a little bit comfort as the TV series rarely follows the book accurately.

I’m now left having to check Wikipedia to see if the series I plan on buying has been renewed to completion if it’s an old series or checking to see if renewal is planed for a new series and take my chances on whether or not it will be renewed for a 3rd series.

Having to do this makes it extremely difficult not to read any information about the plot and trying to avoid the episode breakdowns.

Extremely rarely a cancelled series will be renewed at a later date or the series will be remade with new actors, directors and producers although the plot will always differ slightly to appeal to the new audience.

My message to the creators of these TV shows, and the point of this little rant is DO NOT SELL THE SERIES ON DVD UNLESS YOU ARE 100% SURE THAT YOU WILL BE RENEWING IT (YOU MONEY GRABBING BASTARDS)!!!